i put the tree up & decorated it with everybody,...they're all nice, but i miss mum n' dad... :-/ it's taking a while to adjust to them & the new place... but i love my Choti...
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas EVE!
i put the tree up & decorated it with everybody,...they're all nice, but i miss mum n' dad... :-/ it's taking a while to adjust to them & the new place... but i love my Choti...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS ..
This one is for everyone who ..
a) has kids,
b) had kids,
c) was a kid,
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.
I guess that means all of us!!
DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS ..
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this" , and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in
my mouth and said , "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, What happened to my booger?
a) has kids,
b) had kids,
c) was a kid,
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.
I guess that means all of us!!
DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS ..
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this" , and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in
my mouth and said , "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, What happened to my booger?
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Neil deGrasse Tyson's Top Ten Favorite Facts About the Universe
10. There are 100,000 times as many stars in the universe as sounds and words ever uttered by all humans who have ever lived.
9. Humans are genetically connected with life on Earth, chemically connected with life on other star systems and atomically connected with all matter in the universe.
8. Dark matter and dark energy make up 94 percent of the universe. We can measure their existence, yet we have no idea what they are.
7. Beneath a thick layer of surface ice, Jupiter's moon Europa likely harbors a liquid ocean kept warm by the gravitational stresses induced by Jupiter and by neighboring moons -- a potential haven for life.
6. An asteroid the size of Mount Everest slammed into Earth 65 million years ago. The ensuing global climatic catastrophe left 70 percent of all the world's species extinct, including the ferocious dinosaurs.
5. There are more molecules of water in a cup of water than cups of water in all the world's oceans. This means that some molecules in every cup of water you drink passed through the kidneys of Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Abe Lincoln or any other historical person of your choosing. Same goes for air: There are more molecules of air in a single breath of air than there are breaths of air in Earth's entire atmosphere. Therefore, some molecules of air you inhale passed through the lungs of Billy the Kid, Joan of Arc, Beethoven, Socrates or any other historical person of your choosing.
4. The laws of physics, as measured here on Earth, apply everywhere else in the universe -- across space and time.
3. Since light takes time to travel from one place to another, the farther out in space you look, the farther back in time you see. With our most powerful telescopes, we can observe the universe all the way back to its earliest moments -- all the way back to the Big Bang itself.
2. With Mars likely to have been wet and fertile before Earth in the early solar system; with known bacteria that can survive extremes of temperature, pressure and radiation; with asteroid impacts that can cast into space rocks that contain bacterial stowaways, allowing life to move between planets, it may be that life on Earth was seeded by life from Mars, making all of us descendants of Martians.
1.With chemical elements forged over 14 billion years in the fires of high-mass stars that exploded into space, and with these elements enriching subsequent generations of stars with carbon, oxygen, nitrogen and other basic ingredients of life itself, we are not just figuratively but literally made of stardust.
9. Humans are genetically connected with life on Earth, chemically connected with life on other star systems and atomically connected with all matter in the universe.
8. Dark matter and dark energy make up 94 percent of the universe. We can measure their existence, yet we have no idea what they are.
7. Beneath a thick layer of surface ice, Jupiter's moon Europa likely harbors a liquid ocean kept warm by the gravitational stresses induced by Jupiter and by neighboring moons -- a potential haven for life.
6. An asteroid the size of Mount Everest slammed into Earth 65 million years ago. The ensuing global climatic catastrophe left 70 percent of all the world's species extinct, including the ferocious dinosaurs.
5. There are more molecules of water in a cup of water than cups of water in all the world's oceans. This means that some molecules in every cup of water you drink passed through the kidneys of Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Abe Lincoln or any other historical person of your choosing. Same goes for air: There are more molecules of air in a single breath of air than there are breaths of air in Earth's entire atmosphere. Therefore, some molecules of air you inhale passed through the lungs of Billy the Kid, Joan of Arc, Beethoven, Socrates or any other historical person of your choosing.
4. The laws of physics, as measured here on Earth, apply everywhere else in the universe -- across space and time.
3. Since light takes time to travel from one place to another, the farther out in space you look, the farther back in time you see. With our most powerful telescopes, we can observe the universe all the way back to its earliest moments -- all the way back to the Big Bang itself.
2. With Mars likely to have been wet and fertile before Earth in the early solar system; with known bacteria that can survive extremes of temperature, pressure and radiation; with asteroid impacts that can cast into space rocks that contain bacterial stowaways, allowing life to move between planets, it may be that life on Earth was seeded by life from Mars, making all of us descendants of Martians.
1.With chemical elements forged over 14 billion years in the fires of high-mass stars that exploded into space, and with these elements enriching subsequent generations of stars with carbon, oxygen, nitrogen and other basic ingredients of life itself, we are not just figuratively but literally made of stardust.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Does he call you "Beautiful"?
When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's 'HER' !! "
When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's 'HER' !! "
Swearing At Work Policy
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Challenging My Profession
Thousands of years have passed and the study of medicine has still been the same. We still study the same human body in the same shape and form as it was when ape first evolved into man. The way we practice medicine may have become a bit more what we call, “humane” but the actual substance and ultimate goal has been the same throughout time—to keep the human body healthy! We still have the same body that functions the same way as it did eons ago, only our way of looking at it has changed--from gross to microscopic to molecular. We seem to be learning more and more about the same matter of fact but medicine itself has not changed!
Take a look at another profession—law for instance. You take any law from any time period it will not hold true today, in fact quite far from the law not working; it wouldn’t even make sense if read out loud today. Law is constantly being challenged, condemned, and reformed. It conforms to the way we evolve in our society and is constantly changing.
Business has also been changing and cannot be run today the same way it did a century ago! The industries have changed; trade is now corporate, and factories are manufacturing different products. Investment banking has a whole new definition than it did twenty-five years ago--there were no computers to check stocks second by second or to buy and sell at the click of a button. The more we interact with the world, the smaller it gets.
From Ovid to Shakespeare to Steinbeck; our style of writing, theater, literature and even the humor we appreciate in books or television shows has diversified significantly. From Socrates to Nietzsche to Marx; philosophy, theology; our way of thinking and being has transformed because our way of existing has changed. Technology has been revolutionizing the world! Our government—well too much to say about that, --I’ll shut up now…
But just think of ten important people,... any ten famous names...
....
none of them are doctors.. i rest my case...
average doctor saves 20 lives in his career... sure it changes their families' lives....
if one makes a law... it changes millions of peoples' lives..
if one makes an invention--it changes billions of peoples' lives...
if one does business... it changes your own life...
Take a look at another profession—law for instance. You take any law from any time period it will not hold true today, in fact quite far from the law not working; it wouldn’t even make sense if read out loud today. Law is constantly being challenged, condemned, and reformed. It conforms to the way we evolve in our society and is constantly changing.
Business has also been changing and cannot be run today the same way it did a century ago! The industries have changed; trade is now corporate, and factories are manufacturing different products. Investment banking has a whole new definition than it did twenty-five years ago--there were no computers to check stocks second by second or to buy and sell at the click of a button. The more we interact with the world, the smaller it gets.
From Ovid to Shakespeare to Steinbeck; our style of writing, theater, literature and even the humor we appreciate in books or television shows has diversified significantly. From Socrates to Nietzsche to Marx; philosophy, theology; our way of thinking and being has transformed because our way of existing has changed. Technology has been revolutionizing the world! Our government—well too much to say about that, --I’ll shut up now…
But just think of ten important people,... any ten famous names...
....
none of them are doctors.. i rest my case...
average doctor saves 20 lives in his career... sure it changes their families' lives....
if one makes a law... it changes millions of peoples' lives..
if one makes an invention--it changes billions of peoples' lives...
if one does business... it changes your own life...
Friday, December 07, 2007
i hate how indian men keep trying to make a fool of women --that they'd believe any cocked up stories that is fed to them!
everytime things get good, they run away from warm and fuzzy--cause of their fear of actually being committed to one person and they run the other way looking for everything that could be possibly be wrong to use it as reasoning to not be in a relationship; fights start to replace the warm and uzziness and comfort of companionship and this trouble that they look for is only found with volcanic eruptions; the reasons pour out like lava and the ash falls form the sky smothering out the romantic fire that once embraced their love... and then everything about the relationship just seems wrong to justify their actions even more and if it's hard to find a reason,.. simple: just make up shit...
everytime things get good, they run away from warm and fuzzy--cause of their fear of actually being committed to one person and they run the other way looking for everything that could be possibly be wrong to use it as reasoning to not be in a relationship; fights start to replace the warm and uzziness and comfort of companionship and this trouble that they look for is only found with volcanic eruptions; the reasons pour out like lava and the ash falls form the sky smothering out the romantic fire that once embraced their love... and then everything about the relationship just seems wrong to justify their actions even more and if it's hard to find a reason,.. simple: just make up shit...
(Leroy) I have to ask you a question.
And it's an important one
so I want you to think about the
answer before you give it to me, OK?
OK.
When two people really love each
other but they can't get it together,
when do you get to that point
where enough is enough?
That... Oh, well, that's...
You know?
Um, you know it's over when...
OK, I have, like, these psychosomatic
insomniatic manifestations of...
Well, here's the thing about me.
I'm a product of my emotions, not a
product of my environment, like him,
which he is, exactly,
just that environmental...
I-l need sunshine to grow.
That's who I am.
And with the projection of...
I have goals.
- That's your answer?
- Yeah.
That's not right.
I mean, there's a right answer here,
but that's not it.
Look, in my business
you're surrounded...
by loneliness and finality.
I don't care what your take is
on an afterlife,
when people die, it's scary,
and they go alone.
Now, the people that I send off,
that have experienced love...
They're a little less scared.
They're still scared,
but there's a calmness to 'em.
I think that comes from the knowledge
that somebody somewhere loved 'em
and cared for 'em and will miss 'em.
Now, I see that from time to time
and I am awed by it.
I don't think I'd be telling you this
if it wasn't for Frank.
Anyway, it's a loaded question.
Look, when two people
love each other, totally, truthfully,
all the way love each other,
the answer to that question
is simple, especially in your case.
When do you get to that point
where enough is enough?
Never.
Never.
I just hope Jerry's not stupid.
...call me... .. .
.
And it's an important one
so I want you to think about the
answer before you give it to me, OK?
OK.
When two people really love each
other but they can't get it together,
when do you get to that point
where enough is enough?
That... Oh, well, that's...
You know?
Um, you know it's over when...
OK, I have, like, these psychosomatic
insomniatic manifestations of...
Well, here's the thing about me.
I'm a product of my emotions, not a
product of my environment, like him,
which he is, exactly,
just that environmental...
I-l need sunshine to grow.
That's who I am.
And with the projection of...
I have goals.
- That's your answer?
- Yeah.
That's not right.
I mean, there's a right answer here,
but that's not it.
Look, in my business
you're surrounded...
by loneliness and finality.
I don't care what your take is
on an afterlife,
when people die, it's scary,
and they go alone.
Now, the people that I send off,
that have experienced love...
They're a little less scared.
They're still scared,
but there's a calmness to 'em.
I think that comes from the knowledge
that somebody somewhere loved 'em
and cared for 'em and will miss 'em.
Now, I see that from time to time
and I am awed by it.
I don't think I'd be telling you this
if it wasn't for Frank.
Anyway, it's a loaded question.
Look, when two people
love each other, totally, truthfully,
all the way love each other,
the answer to that question
is simple, especially in your case.
When do you get to that point
where enough is enough?
Never.
Never.
I just hope Jerry's not stupid.
...call me... .. .
.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
sad...
Gawd! It hurts!!! ...when you really try your hardest and put forth all the effort that you are capable of... and you do it from your heart with a strong faith...and truly put your soul into making something happen and then... you are told that you haven't done anything...
:-/
owwiiee...
(it hurts really baaaaad.........!)
:-/
owwiiee...
(it hurts really baaaaad.........!)
Monday, December 03, 2007
The Desi Cubicle
Decorating the workspace so you don't miss the taste of home...
Once your co-workers start smelling of curry too, no one will know who had the BO ;-)
Once your co-workers start smelling of curry too, no one will know who had the BO ;-)
A Quarter of My Life...
Almost didn't make it to this day had they not figured out how to get that darn umbilical cord from around my neck, came out blue, was pampered by everyone on Nani's side being the first grandchild, Scottie, the family dog was one at the time-he got jealous cause i stole the attention he used to get, so he'd take my toys and put them under the bed right in the middle, where i couldn't get them, later he'd really rip my h.w., but he was protective of me as well and wouldn't let a mosquito come hurt me as I lay asleep, after a while of bouncing around juhu, manish nagar, lokhandwala, in bombay, it's off to doha I went experiencing sand pails and rakes on the beaches of Doha, my first experience with pralines n' cream at the company party, learning how to climb pipes which were huge mountains that I had to climb to get away from monsters in my make-believe play, coming back to bombay, i remember climbing this fence in a lokhandwala building with my mum as a shortcut to get to kindergarten class, i remember that one day i forgot to wear underwear and we had to turn back and i got late, i remember the yellow trumpet i brought in for show and tell, the dolls my macis brought for me from working as flight attendants and traveling the world, sonu, moni, bablu (he was a boy i think), apparently my family was convinced that i'd be a doctor when i started doing eye surgeries on the dolls, when one of my favorite dolls broke, i'd take parts of other dolls that i didn't like so much to perfect the one i did like, morbid huh? i remember thh long 10.5 hour sleeper cart escapade train rides to surat, sleeping on mummy's purse for a pillow, holding my brown teddy tightly against my chest, the drums that were tied with ropes around my chest to be used as a flotation device during my swimming classes, getting malaria every month, running away from flying cockroaches, watching people brush their teeth in their balconies from my 1st floor terrace, watching their spit fall down and remembering how disgusting it was, dodging pigeons on my bicycle with lifted training wheels, trying to get the one pigeon out that got stuck in the terrace door in mumma's room, watching my friend's mom make twirling spiral chakli's with the pasting machine, mimicking mum by trying to take her lipstick and putting it on with my mouth open the way she does, chocolate eclair ... more to come...
a lot more that i want to write to preserve memories of my life... but i'm too sad to do anything right now...
A Quarter of a Century Old...
From toilets that you can sit on, to dolls that can make sounds and dance, to my first talking teacher computer, to touch-tone phones, to cd players, powerwheels, hair mascara, stick-on bras, pop rocks, bookmobiles, coronary bypass, carphones, escalators, singing candles, bell-bottom pants, automatic can-openers, dos computer, dna fingerprinting, windows, email, laptops, cell phones, yahoo, napster, google, ebay, amazon, PCR, voicemail, fiber optics, ATMs, air bags, nanotechnology, hybrid cars, wifi, commercial gps, to my new digital camera! :-)
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
WHO IS JACK SCHITT
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. S he was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. S he was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Brainsuckers
Thursday, Nov. 08, 2007
When the Patient Is a Googler
By Scott Haig
We had never met, but as we talked on the phone I knew she was Googling me. The way she drew out her conjunctions, just a little, that was the tip off — stalling for time as new pages loaded. It was barely audible, but the soft click-click of the keyboard in the background confirmed it. Oh, well, it's the information age. Normally, she'd have to go through my staff first, but I gave her an appointment.
Susan was well spoken and in good shape, an attractive woman in her mid-40s. She had brought her three-year-old to my office, but was ignoring the little monster as he ripped up magazines, threw fish crackers and Cheerios, and stomped them into my rug. I tried to ignore him too, which was hard as he dribbled chocolate milk from his sippy cup all over my upholstered chairs. Eventually his screeching made conversation impossible.
"This is not an acceptable form of behavior, not acceptable at all," was Susan's excruciatingly well-enunciated and perfunctory response to Junior's screaming. The toddler's defiant delight signaled that he understood just enough to ignore her back. Meanwhile, Mom launched into me with a barrage of excruciatingly well-informed questions. I soon felt like throwing Cheerios at her too.
Susan had chosen me because she had researched my education, read a paper I had written, determined my university affiliation and knew where I lived. It was a little too much — as if she knew how stinky and snorey I was last Sunday morning. Yes, she was simply researching important aspects of her own health care. Yes, who your surgeon is certainly affects what your surgeon does. But I was unnerved by how she brandished her information, too personal and just too rude on our first meeting.
Every doctor knows patients like this. They're called "brainsuckers." By the time they come in, they've visited many other docs already — somehow unable to stick with any of them. They have many complaints, which rarely translate to hard findings on any objective tests. They talk a lot. I often wonder, while waiting for them to pause, if there are patients like this in poor, war-torn countries where the need for doctors is more dire.
Susan got me thinking about patients. Nurses are my favorites — they know our language and they're used to putting their trust in doctors. And they laugh at my jokes. But engineers, as a class, are possibly the best patients. They're logical and they're accustomed to the concept of consultation — they're interested in how the doctor thinks about their problem. They know how to use experts. If your orthopedist thinks about arthritis, for instance, in terms of friction between roughened joint surfaces, you should try to think about it, generally, in the same way. There is little use coming to him or her for help if you insist your arthritis is due to an imbalance between yin and yang, an interruption of some imaginary force field or a dietary deficiency of molybdenum. There's so much information (as well as misinformation) in medicine — and, yes, a lot of it can be Googled — that one major responsibility of an expert is to know what to ignore.
Susan had neither the trust of a nurse nor the teachability of an engineer. She would ignore no theory of any culture or any quack, regarding her very common brand of knee pain. On and on she went as I retreated further within. I marveled, sitting there silenced by her diatribe. Hers was such a fully orbed and vigorous self-concern that it possessed virtue in its own right. Her complete and utter selfishness was nearly a thing of beauty.
When to punt is not a topic taught in medical school. There is but one observation that I can offer: Patients like Susan, as self-absorbed as they are, know it immediately. They can tell when you're about to punt.
I knew full well what was wrong with this woman, and I could treat her, probably as well as anyone. But treating her condition, which was chronic patellofemoral pain, would test the mettle of patient and surgeon. What we have doesn't work very well nor very quickly. The swelling takes months to go down, the muscles take even longer to strengthen. Good patients often complain, "It was better before we started," in desperation or anger, before they see improvement. But with plenty of therapy, braces, exercises and one or two operations, this knee does improve. It's often tough going, though, and patients have to stick with you. I like to be straight — "It gets worse before it gets better" is what I tell them. Susan's style, her history and, somehow, most telling, the way she treated her son said she was not going to make it through this. Not with me, anyway.
A seasoned doc gets good at sizing up what kind of patient he's got and how to adjust his communicative style accordingly. Some patients are non-compliant Bozos who won't read anything longer than a headline. They don't want to know what's wrong with them, they don't know what medicines they're taking, they don't even seem to care what kind of operation you're planning to do on them. "Just get me better, doc," is all they say.
At the other end of our spectrum are patients like Susan: They're often suspicious and distrustful, their pressured sentences burst with misused, mispronounced words and half-baked ideas. Unfortunately, both types of patients get sick with roughly the same frequency.
I knew Susan was a Googler — queen, perhaps, of all Googlers. But I couldn't dance with this one. I couldn't even get a word in edgewise. So, I cut her off. I punted. I told her there was nothing I could do differently than her last three orthopedists, but I could refer her to another who might be able to help. A certain Dr. Brown, whom I'd known as a resident, had been particularly interested in her type of knee problem.
Disappointed and annoyed, Susan stopped for a beat.
"You mean Larry Brown on Central Avenue?"
"Uh, yes —" I started.
"I have an appointment with him on Friday. And, Dr. Haig?" she said, pulling Junior by the arm out my office door, "Watch out on your drive home tonight. There was an accident near your exit."
Dr. Scott Haig is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Orthopedic Surgery at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. He has a private practice in the New York City area.
When the Patient Is a Googler
By Scott Haig
We had never met, but as we talked on the phone I knew she was Googling me. The way she drew out her conjunctions, just a little, that was the tip off — stalling for time as new pages loaded. It was barely audible, but the soft click-click of the keyboard in the background confirmed it. Oh, well, it's the information age. Normally, she'd have to go through my staff first, but I gave her an appointment.
Susan was well spoken and in good shape, an attractive woman in her mid-40s. She had brought her three-year-old to my office, but was ignoring the little monster as he ripped up magazines, threw fish crackers and Cheerios, and stomped them into my rug. I tried to ignore him too, which was hard as he dribbled chocolate milk from his sippy cup all over my upholstered chairs. Eventually his screeching made conversation impossible.
"This is not an acceptable form of behavior, not acceptable at all," was Susan's excruciatingly well-enunciated and perfunctory response to Junior's screaming. The toddler's defiant delight signaled that he understood just enough to ignore her back. Meanwhile, Mom launched into me with a barrage of excruciatingly well-informed questions. I soon felt like throwing Cheerios at her too.
Susan had chosen me because she had researched my education, read a paper I had written, determined my university affiliation and knew where I lived. It was a little too much — as if she knew how stinky and snorey I was last Sunday morning. Yes, she was simply researching important aspects of her own health care. Yes, who your surgeon is certainly affects what your surgeon does. But I was unnerved by how she brandished her information, too personal and just too rude on our first meeting.
Every doctor knows patients like this. They're called "brainsuckers." By the time they come in, they've visited many other docs already — somehow unable to stick with any of them. They have many complaints, which rarely translate to hard findings on any objective tests. They talk a lot. I often wonder, while waiting for them to pause, if there are patients like this in poor, war-torn countries where the need for doctors is more dire.
Susan got me thinking about patients. Nurses are my favorites — they know our language and they're used to putting their trust in doctors. And they laugh at my jokes. But engineers, as a class, are possibly the best patients. They're logical and they're accustomed to the concept of consultation — they're interested in how the doctor thinks about their problem. They know how to use experts. If your orthopedist thinks about arthritis, for instance, in terms of friction between roughened joint surfaces, you should try to think about it, generally, in the same way. There is little use coming to him or her for help if you insist your arthritis is due to an imbalance between yin and yang, an interruption of some imaginary force field or a dietary deficiency of molybdenum. There's so much information (as well as misinformation) in medicine — and, yes, a lot of it can be Googled — that one major responsibility of an expert is to know what to ignore.
Susan had neither the trust of a nurse nor the teachability of an engineer. She would ignore no theory of any culture or any quack, regarding her very common brand of knee pain. On and on she went as I retreated further within. I marveled, sitting there silenced by her diatribe. Hers was such a fully orbed and vigorous self-concern that it possessed virtue in its own right. Her complete and utter selfishness was nearly a thing of beauty.
When to punt is not a topic taught in medical school. There is but one observation that I can offer: Patients like Susan, as self-absorbed as they are, know it immediately. They can tell when you're about to punt.
I knew full well what was wrong with this woman, and I could treat her, probably as well as anyone. But treating her condition, which was chronic patellofemoral pain, would test the mettle of patient and surgeon. What we have doesn't work very well nor very quickly. The swelling takes months to go down, the muscles take even longer to strengthen. Good patients often complain, "It was better before we started," in desperation or anger, before they see improvement. But with plenty of therapy, braces, exercises and one or two operations, this knee does improve. It's often tough going, though, and patients have to stick with you. I like to be straight — "It gets worse before it gets better" is what I tell them. Susan's style, her history and, somehow, most telling, the way she treated her son said she was not going to make it through this. Not with me, anyway.
A seasoned doc gets good at sizing up what kind of patient he's got and how to adjust his communicative style accordingly. Some patients are non-compliant Bozos who won't read anything longer than a headline. They don't want to know what's wrong with them, they don't know what medicines they're taking, they don't even seem to care what kind of operation you're planning to do on them. "Just get me better, doc," is all they say.
At the other end of our spectrum are patients like Susan: They're often suspicious and distrustful, their pressured sentences burst with misused, mispronounced words and half-baked ideas. Unfortunately, both types of patients get sick with roughly the same frequency.
I knew Susan was a Googler — queen, perhaps, of all Googlers. But I couldn't dance with this one. I couldn't even get a word in edgewise. So, I cut her off. I punted. I told her there was nothing I could do differently than her last three orthopedists, but I could refer her to another who might be able to help. A certain Dr. Brown, whom I'd known as a resident, had been particularly interested in her type of knee problem.
Disappointed and annoyed, Susan stopped for a beat.
"You mean Larry Brown on Central Avenue?"
"Uh, yes —" I started.
"I have an appointment with him on Friday. And, Dr. Haig?" she said, pulling Junior by the arm out my office door, "Watch out on your drive home tonight. There was an accident near your exit."
Dr. Scott Haig is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Orthopedic Surgery at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. He has a private practice in the New York City area.
Monday, November 19, 2007
My Night in Atlantic City...
Away from the lights and commotion, I walked alone on the boardwalk on this cold November night, my mind raced parallel to every roar of the ocean's wave. As they got bigger coming towards me, blurring the delicate reflection of the moon, I noticed that with every break of the wave in the midnight sky I found myself getting more and more
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Mexican boy allegedly abused by teacher could return to U.S. - CNN.com
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/11/11/teacher.student.search.ap/index.html
Although laws for refugees to seek salvation have been in existence for a while, when cases like this get sensationalized by the media, it is just going to lead to BICE getting inundated with people claiming that they were victims of sexual abuse in order to stay in the country. Which Mexican Women hasn't had her bootie grabbed by her stickler employer who overworks her for a measly $4 bucks an hour and she can't do anything because she has three hungry mouths to feed at home...
sigh... once again we are restrained in the ugly whorl of life that is created by our own society to instill good and demolish bad in order to better ourselves but we just end up making things more difficult... The more we do, the more we complicate our system... For the people who want to live more primitively and just want to fish, hunt, make love and sleep by a fire... the Clipperton Island looks quite enticing!
heheheheeee... What a great place for a birthday party? ;-)
Although laws for refugees to seek salvation have been in existence for a while, when cases like this get sensationalized by the media, it is just going to lead to BICE getting inundated with people claiming that they were victims of sexual abuse in order to stay in the country. Which Mexican Women hasn't had her bootie grabbed by her stickler employer who overworks her for a measly $4 bucks an hour and she can't do anything because she has three hungry mouths to feed at home...
sigh... once again we are restrained in the ugly whorl of life that is created by our own society to instill good and demolish bad in order to better ourselves but we just end up making things more difficult... The more we do, the more we complicate our system... For the people who want to live more primitively and just want to fish, hunt, make love and sleep by a fire... the Clipperton Island looks quite enticing!
heheheheeee... What a great place for a birthday party? ;-)
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Happy Dhanteras Birthday To Me...!
I was born on Dhanteras about a quarter of a century ago (sounds so young, doesn't it?) ;-) It was the happiest day of my mum's life apparently! It was a very auspicious day; not just because of my birth! ;-) Of course my mum's side of the family was overjoyed with the news of the first-born grandchild but it was also an auspicious day for many more! The Hindu mythological stories fascinate me so I thought I'd share them here...
"Dhanteras, sometimes called as Dhantrayodashi falls on the thirteenth day of the month of Ashwin. 'Dhan' in Hindi means wealth. This day is specially devoted to worship Goddess Lakshmi. While the preparations for Diwali celebrations are on their full swing, Dhanteras appends a new dimension to it. This year, Dhanteras will be observed on 7th November.There is a very interesting story that backs this Hindu festival. The son of King Hema was doomed to die as soon as he completes his sixteenth year. The king and queen wanted their son to enjoy all goodness of life and therefor he got him married. The fourth day of his marriage was that dreadful day.
His wife didn't let him sleep and placed around him lots of gold & silver coins. The entry gate was also jammed with the same. Moreover big lamps were lightened all around the palace. She kept telling her husband various stories and sung songs so as to keep him awakened. As Yama, the God of death came, in the guise of a serpent, he couldn't enter the room of the Prince as his eyes were bedazzled by the flash of gold and silver. Yama had to turn back to his world. This way the girl saved her husband's life.
Because of the above told story, the day is also called 'Yamadeepdaan'. Lamps are kept burning throughout the night in the honor of Yama. Another amazing legendary story associated with Dhanteras is that of 'Samudra Manthan'. When Lord Indra along with a team of demons churned the sea to nullify the curse of Sage Durvasa, Goddess Lakshmi emerged from the sea.
The rituals of Dhanteras incorporates elements of both the stories. On the one hand, people invite Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi to their houses (symbolically) with different kinds of rituals. All the houses are beautified with lights and colors. Specially the entrance is decorated with torans on the doors and Rangoli on the floor. Dhanteras is also considered a very auspicious day to buy gold, silver and household items, especially, utensils. The natives of Maharashtra follow a very unique custom. They mix dry coriander leaves with jaggery and offer it as Naivedya. With the kind of fervor Hindus show for Dhanteras, it certainly sets a mood for the celebrations of the festival of Diwali."
http://www.diwaliutsav.com/dhanteras.html
"Dhanteras, sometimes called as Dhantrayodashi falls on the thirteenth day of the month of Ashwin. 'Dhan' in Hindi means wealth. This day is specially devoted to worship Goddess Lakshmi. While the preparations for Diwali celebrations are on their full swing, Dhanteras appends a new dimension to it. This year, Dhanteras will be observed on 7th November.There is a very interesting story that backs this Hindu festival. The son of King Hema was doomed to die as soon as he completes his sixteenth year. The king and queen wanted their son to enjoy all goodness of life and therefor he got him married. The fourth day of his marriage was that dreadful day.
His wife didn't let him sleep and placed around him lots of gold & silver coins. The entry gate was also jammed with the same. Moreover big lamps were lightened all around the palace. She kept telling her husband various stories and sung songs so as to keep him awakened. As Yama, the God of death came, in the guise of a serpent, he couldn't enter the room of the Prince as his eyes were bedazzled by the flash of gold and silver. Yama had to turn back to his world. This way the girl saved her husband's life.
Because of the above told story, the day is also called 'Yamadeepdaan'. Lamps are kept burning throughout the night in the honor of Yama. Another amazing legendary story associated with Dhanteras is that of 'Samudra Manthan'. When Lord Indra along with a team of demons churned the sea to nullify the curse of Sage Durvasa, Goddess Lakshmi emerged from the sea.
The rituals of Dhanteras incorporates elements of both the stories. On the one hand, people invite Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi to their houses (symbolically) with different kinds of rituals. All the houses are beautified with lights and colors. Specially the entrance is decorated with torans on the doors and Rangoli on the floor. Dhanteras is also considered a very auspicious day to buy gold, silver and household items, especially, utensils. The natives of Maharashtra follow a very unique custom. They mix dry coriander leaves with jaggery and offer it as Naivedya. With the kind of fervor Hindus show for Dhanteras, it certainly sets a mood for the celebrations of the festival of Diwali."
http://www.diwaliutsav.com/dhanteras.html
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